Our clothing is regulated, we’re judged on our looks before our opinion is heard, and gosh darn it... we are TIRED of smiling! Men and women should take a few minutes to read the top 5 tips to help empower women in professional settings.
Assume the Woman in the Room is the Most Powerful
When we tell stories about police officers, doctors, managers, and CEO’s how many times do we assume right away that a man is the leading role? Probably a lot. We must take time to practice shifting our thoughts because our prejudices aren’t helping women move up the corporate ladder. Next time you walk into a job interview think about how you would act if you knew the woman was in charge.
Shake Hands With Her First
I was at a career fair recently. Many tables were staffed by individuals or two people of the same gender. However, there was one table in mind that was being manned by a man and a woman recruiter. I didn’t know who was more influential, nor did it really matter in that setting so I made a conscious decision to extend my hand to the woman first. The same etiquette may be applied to other aspects of our lives. When addressing an Email to a man and woman, or even walking into a room, try addressing the female first instead of always assuming the man deserves more respect.
Stop Telling Us to Smile
I’m serious about this one. We will smile when our work is finished and all of our sisters' wages have matched the same rate as their male colleagues. Why is it that women need to appear cheerier and more approachable ? We should not be expected to change our persona for the sake of others comfortability if men aren’t. Rather than telling women to change, try reframing what you would do if a man exhibited the same traits. Instead of thinking women are cold because we lack a grin, maybe consider us stoic or respectful. Instead of calling us too intense, maybe realize that we’re just enthusiastic. Rather than telling us to “chill” or “calm down” try to recognize that we are passionate and eager to handle situations efficiently and quickly.
Don’t Change Your Expectations For Us
One night a group of my female friends and I were out and one of them was expressing she was stressed about a presentation. Everyone knew she was smart and thoughtful, but the next word of advice spoken to her I will never forget. My friend Sarah told her, “just think, if a white male handed in the same work, would it be good enough?” WOW.
Often times, women work tirelessly to try to compete with...well everyone, but especially our male counterparts. We want to prove that we are competent enough, diligent workers, and as dedicated as them. Ladies, we deserve to hold ourselves to standards, however, always keep in mind how comfortable you would be with your efforts if you had white-cis-gendered-male privilege.
With that in mind, women also do not desire to slack. Whatever expectations women are expected to maintain, we want to, but do not make us “prove ourselves” and do not go easy. To empower females, you must make sure the expectations are no more and no less than the expectations you would have for a male.
Don’t be Two-Faced
If you’re going to claim to support women, you better not stop when we turn our backs. Of course, we love when you advocate for us when we’re there, but we think it’s even better when we’re gone too. If you only support someone while they are present in a room and refuse to speak up behind closed doors, all of your advocacy just becomes hypocrisy, and no one benefits from that.
This concept should be applied to settings as well. If you tell your wife you’re a feminist and would not tolerate a man berating or disrespecting her, I hope you are empowering your female colleagues at the office as well.
Overall, I believe women need allies to make the world a little bit less sexist. The plight is ongoing, educating others is exhausting, and we’re tired of being treated less than our male counter parts. Try out one of these tips and let me know how it goes. Once all those issues are handled, maybe we will smile then.
Agreed! People will tell woman to "smile more" and "lighten up", but in the same breath, tell them to take themselves more seriously. I feel like there's still a lot of people who don't understand that what they're saying is so demeaning. The reality is, the male counterparts of these females just wouldn't be questioned about how they display their emotions on a regular basis.