Last week I had...a day. I ended my internship at a local hospital because of the unforeseen circumstances related to COVID-19 and the university excusing students for preventative measures. As I walked away from my work, I took a route that led me to Marshall Street near the university. Marshall Street is lined with restaurants and is always bustling with people. As I was approaching the sidewalk, I saw a man in a wheelchair panhandling for money.
I’ve learned for a long time that throwing cash at issues doesn’t solve anything holistically, especially when we’re talking about poverty, so I try not to just give away cash often. I could have crossed the street and avoided the man or brushed past him with no acknowledgement, but I believe the latter is dehumanizing and wrong. Even if you cannot, or don’t feel comfortable offering money or assistance to someone, if a person looks at you, the least you can do is smile and say hello.
Today as I approached the man, he asked me if I had change to spare. I said “no, but do you want something to eat?” and he did. I offered to go into Jimmy John’s with him and all he wanted was a tuna sandwich. I asked the guy his name and he told me (we’ll call him Trevor for the sake of his privacy). As we waited for his order to be made, Trevor continued to explain his situation, which wasn’t necessary, but I appreciated the honesty. The reason he was out asking for change was because it costs him $22 a night to stay on a couch in the evening. I asked Trevor how he met the people he stays with and explained that it happened the same way we just met, someone took time to get to know him and then they offered their home.
Trevor needed change so badly that he didn’t even want to take time to eat inside, he said he needed to go back out to collect more money, and that’s exactly what he did. I said farewell, he said thank you and that he appreciated me, and he parked his chair on Marshall Street again to earn his daily rent.
Why does this story matter? Well, keep this in mind; this man was black, wheelchair bound, begging for a measly $22 for a couch to sleep on that night and still had the decency to thank me for a tuna sandwich and talk to me about his life.
Shortly after this encounter I continued walking to my apartment. As I walked home on a street called Madison, I looked to my right and there was a young Caucasian man looking at me and holding his hand to his mouth to amplify racist remarks across the street.
Although I couldn’t decipher everything he was saying, I knew it wasn’t nice. He told me I was walking the wrong way back to China. He told me how corrupt the government was and how they tell parents what to do with their kids. I was in utter shock. There have been a variety of bias related incidents on campus that Not Again SU has been protesting about, yet I have never felt unsafe on campus. If you read my previous blog, you also know that I have had my fair share of microaggressions and ignorant comments, but I couldn’t believe this blatant racism in broad daylight.
Being marginalized by society is no excuse to marginalize others.
The Caucasian man and I did not get to have a sit-down conversation like me and the black man did. However, we very well could have. I don’t know the white man's plights but maybe he was equally as impoverished as Trevor, possibly even suffering from more circumstances. However, this is no excuse to spew hateful and ignorant remarks. Both men were likely marginalized in society in some way or another. Maybe they were outcasted for their race, religion, age, education level or socioeconomic class, but I know that I met one man in a place of compassion and open dialogue, and another in a place of bigotry and hate.
Ignorance and cruelty are not designated to one class or race. Racism and unthoughtfulness can come out of anyone regardless of their skin color, social class or their own marginalized status.
Racism or ignorance isn’t what you think it looks like. It looks like your best friend, your roommate, your sorority sister, your mom, your boyfriend, your classmate, your boss, your wife, your professors, your students, your teammates…
Racism and ignorance are intersectional too.
It’s a African-American student knowingly misgendering a non-binary professor, a Hispanic man claiming that a woman looked like a lesbian because of her haircut, an immigrant joking about Coronavirus, a friend not bothering to ask how you are when you tell them about racism that happened to you.
Being an active bystander does not only mean that you stand up for a marginalized person in the heat of an issue, it also means being caring and open minded after an incident. It means being available for a conversation when there’s not an immediate issue too.
One of the hardest things for me to deal with is having conversations about racism, inequality and sociopolitical issues with people who don’t seem to be affected. As my one friend put it, “it’s exhausting.” Conversations with willfully ignorant people are actually more emotionally and mentally tiring than experiencing what I did on the street last week.
However, I am a firm believer that these hard conversations about race, privilege, and equality are needed with close friends and loved ones. Their ideals need to be discussed and sometimes challenged in a respectful manner. Otherwise, we end up with a world of closeted people who are resentful and uneducated about diversity and inclusion problems.
Don’t get things twisted though. Adults need to educate themselves and take meaningful steps to understand people from different walks of life. I’m Chinese and from middle class America but I can still learn a lot from queer friends, international students, and even upper class white cis-gendered males. Everyone should ask questions and be intentional in addressing their implicit biases. We all have them. Even marginalized people have biases they have to work on unlearning; however, it is not an excuse to degrade others.
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